Bloody Nightmare
by AJ Kuroshitsuji
Summary: Maka's depressed and trying to hide it from Soul. Will he figure it out before Maka takes it too far?
1. Crimson Red

**Hey. I know I've been struggling with updates, and it has to do with depression. I'm kinda upset right now, and this is kind of the only way to keep from hurting myself. It's also a new direction in approaching some of my writing. I'll update everything else as soon as I'm feeling better.**

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I stared at my clock in my bedroom, covers pulled up to my chin. It was three in the morning. As I sat up, I quietly slipped a small knife out from under my mattress and turned my light on. As I pulled the sleeve of my shirt up, I listened to the quiet house, listening to see if someone woke up. No movement. Perfect. I held the knife to my wrist, over the scars from past cuts, and dug into my skin with the blade, crimson blood coming from the wound. I ripped it across my wrist and lifted the knife, digging the knife in over my artery. Blood spurt painfully from the wound and I placed my hand over it, putting pressure on it. Damn. If I wasn't careful, I was sure to kill myself. That's not what I wanted. Not yet. I moved on further up my arm until I felt satisfied. Blood rolled down my arm to my fingertips and dripped onto the soft blue carpet. That was enough for tonight. I slid the knife back under my mattress and rolled my sleeve back down. As I laid back down and turned off the light, I heard clawing at my closed door. Blair. Of course it was her. I rolled over and ignored the cat, determined to get to sleep.


	2. Ocean Blue

**Sadly, I don't feel too much better, but at least I'm not trying to hurt myself. Here's chapter 2.**

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"Maka, come on. Wake up." Soul pulled the comforter off my body. "We're going to be late if you don't hurry. Get your ass out of bed and put on your swimsuit."

"I'm not going in the ocean today." I mumbled as I sat up. "I think I'm just going to read and watch you guys play." I swung my legs out of bed and got up, stretching. "I'll go, but I'm not going into the ocean."

"Why not? You and I have been looking forward to this day for weeks! Why the sudden change in intrest? That's unlike you, Maka." my weapon crossed his arms over his muscular chest, eyes narrowed. "Something bothering you?"

"No, nothing. I just don't feel like playing in the water. Maybe next time. Now, get out of my room so I can change." I pushed him out and shut the door, making my way across my room and to my closet to pull out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to match the bandages that I had begun using for my arms. It was the only way to keep the cuts hidden from everyone else. I sighed and got dressed, grabbing a random book off my nightstand and leaving the room. "Soul, I'm ready when you are."

"Well, get your butt out the door, then. Kid will kill us if we aren't there by exactly eight o'clock. You know that." Soul grabbed his motorcycle keys off the end table and walked out the door. I followed closely, sighing as Soul failed to wait for me. It was the same routine over and over again. He seemed to pay less attention to me as the days went by and it was driving me crazy. As much as I was glad that he wasn't inspecting my arms and legs for any injuries I might have after battle anymore, I missed all the attention I used to get. There was a part of me that felt empty ever since he started going out with Liz. It was like he didn't care for me anymore.

"Are you coming or not?" Soul called out from below. He'd already mounted his bike and had the motor running. "We're going to be late."

"Yeah, I'm coming." I mumbled, locking the door and hurrying down the steps. I'd barely gotten onto the bike before Soul took off down the street towards the beaches. We'd been reassigned to Florida a few months ago with our friends, and we'd planned this day to go to the beach for the first time since our senior trip to California five years ago. As Soul drove towards Miami beach, I dropped my hands and let go of my hold on Soul's waist, not carring if I fell or not. I knew if Liz saw me doing that, she'd have my ass.

"Maka, hold on, or you're going to fall off." he scolded, looking at me through the rearview mirror. "I don't need to be calling the ambulence to take my meister to the hospital, okay?"

"I'll be fine. Just, pay attention to the road, okay?" I looked away, sighing.

"Damn it, Maka." he growled lowly, grabbing one of my hands tightly and wrapping it back around his waist. "Hold on."

Not wanting to fight with him, I gave in and wrapped my arms back around his waist as we continued down the road. The still rising sun was making the ocean sparkle. No cars were on the road we were on. Of course. We were headed to Kid's private beach. No one was allowed on it. Two cars were parked in the beach parking lot. Soul parked his bike next to the cars and I got off the bike quickly before Liz could see us. Of course, having seen us pull in, Liz walked over to us.

"There you are! Kid was about to have a fit!" Liz pecked Soul on the cheek and glanced at me. "Where's your swimsuit?"

"I'm not going into the water today, Liz. I'll just watch you guys." I mumbled, walking towards the others, my book clutched tightly to my chest. I couldn't stand looking at those two anymore. It was too much. Liz was the cutesy kind of girl who always ran up to Soul and hugged him and kissed him. It made me sick. If it were me, I'd wait until Soul kissed me. I scoffed silently. Why did I have to be dragged into this mess?

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**R&R**


	3. Darker Than Black

**Chapter 3 is here**

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I sat quietly on the shore of the beach while everyone else was playing in the water. Liz was hanging all over Soul as usual and Kid was complaining about how unsymmetrical Black Star's hair was. Typical. I sighed and went back to reading my book. I'd ended up grabbing one of the romance novels off my nightstand. As I was getting sucked into the book, someone grabbed my arm.

"I said I wasn't getting in the water. Leave me alone." I muttered, not even looking up from my book. There was no answer. What the hell was up with them? I looked up "Look, I said-" I stopped, realizing I had no idea who this guy was. He roughly pulled me up off the ground, causing me to drop my book.

"Be quiet." He growled lowly, yanking me by the arm in front of him. A gun protrued from his pants pocket and I immideatly closed my mouth. Shit. He gripped my other wrist tightly, causing me to cry out. Damn. That was the arm with all the cuts on it.

"Maka!" Soul had heard my scream and was scrambling over to help, the others following closely. "Let her go, now!" he shouted, eyes narrowed.

"Any closer and she dies." my attacker pulled the gun out and held it to my head. I tensed, whimpering his pain as his grip on my wrist got tighter. The group of six stopped just feet away from us. Soul growled lowly.

"We're members of the DWMA academy in Death City, Nevada. If you kill her, you're technically killing a legal officer. We all hunt people like you. If you let her go now, you can go."

"I've heard of that academy. You're not officers at all. Just a bunch of kids that learn fighting techniques in every class."

"You have five seconds to let her go. Five. Four. Three."

"Come at me. I dare you."

"Two. One. Maka, how does his Soul look? I've been looking for another meal for a while." he smirked at me and I glanced at the man.

"Looks like a kishin egg to me, Soul." I smirked and extended my hand. "It's dinner time~"

"Alright!" he quickly shifted into his weapon form and landed in the palm of my outstretched hand. The guy who had attacked me let go of my wrist immediatly and stepped back, the gun dropping.

"You're soul is mine!" I charged forward, my weapon poised to strike. The man tried to run. Heh. That wasn't going to do much. I was faster and got in his path. Raising Soul in the air, I readied to strike when he was close enough. The man skidded to a stop inches away from me and I struck, slicing him in half. His body disappeared and left behind a red kishin egg. "Dinner."

"You're the best, Maka." Soul grinned and downed the soul in one gulp. "That was a damn good soul. It's been a while since I've had one." he smirked as he shifted back and approached me. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No, he didn't get the chance. Hey, can we go home now? It's getting close to dinner time and it's your night to cook."

"Ugh, fine." he turned to the others and waved. "See you later." I smiled as Liz handed me my book and I followed Soul to the bike. My smile disappeared. I could fake them, but they'd never be genuine smiles. As I got onto the bike, I thought of the blade that was laying under my mattress back at the apartment. It had my name written all over it.

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**R&R**


	4. Sweet Crimson Red and White

**I know, these are short chapters, but I'm planning a big chapter to make up for the really short ones**

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That was enough. I cleaned the knife off of any blood that may have gotten onto the blade and bangaged my arms again. I stared out the window as the sun set and sighed softly. As soon as we'd gotten home, I'd locked myself in my room and pulled the knife out. I couldn't wait until Soul was asleep. I'd been attacked and Soul _still_ let it go so easily. It was like all I had to do was say that I was okay and he was fine with that. That didn't use to be the case. He'd inspect me himself every time something happened to me. Lately, he's been less concerned. I layed back in bed and stared at the ceiling. The smell of garlic came from the kitchen. Of course. Spaghetti again.

"Maka, dinner!" Soul called out from the kitchen.

"Just bring it in here! I have work to do!" I lied, quickly pulling out a text book that I'd gotten from our old professor five years ago. I flipped it open and began reading. Soul walked in quietly a few minutes later, set my food down, and left without a word.

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Dinner went untouched that night. I was still wide awake at three in the morning. Blair had work and Soul was passed out in bed. Frustrated, I pulled the blade out and dug it into my shoulder, furious with myself. I muffled my cries of pain with my pillow, tears rolling down my cheeks. I could have handled that situation myself. I didn't need anyone's help. I ripped the blade across my shoulder and down my arms. Crimson red blood flowed from the wounds and dripped onto the white bedsheets. I was so sick of living like this. Having to watch the guy I love hang out with my best friend. Having to be saved every time something happened to me. I'd had enough. I hated being weak and I couldn't deal with all of it. I dug the knife into my wrist, blood spurting from the wound. I was slowly torturing myself for things I could never bring myelf to do. I couldn't bring myself to tell Soul how I felt. I couldn't even stand up for myself. The only thing that I was good at doing was picking up a knife and hurting myself. All I could really do was watch while others got hurt. All I could really do now was watch the sweet crimson red blood run down my arm. The deep color stained the sheets and, from what I could observe, soaked into the mattress. Anger bubbled up inside me as I slashed wildly at my wrists, more cuts oozing out the bright red liquid.

"I can't take it!" I nearly shouted. I tossed the knife onto my bed and opened the door to my bedroom and quickly made my way to the bathroom. It was time to end it all.

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**A/N: I think I'm going to tell my dad about my depression issues because I ended up cutting today and nearly ODd on benadryl. It's time I got help and possibly anti depressants to help me out before I end up killing myself anyways R&R**


	5. Bloody Red Nightmare

**I shift around through the POVs here. I start with Soul and then it goes to Maka and so on with each break in the chapter there. Enjoy**

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I sat up in bed as I heard Maka cry out. As quickly as I could, I got out of bed and went to her bedroom. Her sheets were covered in blood and a knife lay on the bed, but no signs of Maka. I heard the bathroom door lock and I ran to the door, banging on it.

"Maka, open the door now!"

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I heard Soul get out of bed and run down the hall. Shit. I woke him up. I quickly locked the door and looked around the bathroom.

"Maka, open the door now!" he shouted, banging on the door.

"No. Go away, Soul!" Tears were already rolling down my cheeks. I opened the medicine cabinate and pulled out a bottle of Benadryl from the cabinate.

"Maka, don't make me get Black Star!" I heard his voice crack. He was on the verge of tears.

"It'll be too late by then." I opened the pill bottle and emptied nearly half of it into my hand. "Goodbye, Soul. I love you." I said, my own voice cracking as I downed the pills a couple at a time so I wouldn't choke and sat on the bathroom floor, pulling my knees to my chest. The blood from my cuts had begun to dry. No. I didn't want that to happen. I dug around the drawers for a razor blade and found one. I brought it to my wrist and began cutting again. Oh, how I wish I had my knife. I ripped the blade across my shoulders and arms. A little blood spattered as I did, getting on the painted blue walls and on the floor. Blood dripped from the wounds and began to puddle around me as I continued cutting. I could faintly hear Soul on the phone, talking frantically to someone.

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I had to do something to help her. Quickly, I grabbed my cell phone and called Black Star.

"What? Dude, it's three thirty in the freaking morning!" he growled on the other line.

"Listen, I woke up to Maka's scream and I went to check on her. There's lots of blood and a knife on her bed. She ran to the bathroom and I tried to get her out, but she locked the door. I think she's going to try and kill herself."

"What!?" I could hear footsteps in the background and Tsubaki's tired voice. Black Star explained and the shadow weapon gasped and leave. Probably to either call the others or call for help.

"Black Star, I need you to kick the door open. I don't know what she's done yet, and I can't kick it down. She could already be dying!" tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Okay, calm down. We're only a couple of appartments down, okay? I'll be up in like... two seconds." he hung up and I dropped my phone onto the couch and tried to get the bathroom door open again.

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I finally set the razor blade down and watched the blood continue to puddle on the floor. I began to feel extremely sleepy and confused. I started shaking and my vision blurred. I couldn't make out anything in the bathroom. Ringing pierced my ears and I felt like I couldn't even try to stand up. My face flushed and I began to feel really warm. Fever. A symptom of ODing on Benadryl? Maybe... Just Maybe.

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"Soul, where is she!?" Black Star opened the door, Tsubaki following closely.

"I called for an ambulence." she said softly as I led Black Star to the bathroom.

"She's in here. I haven't heard anything since she said 'goodbye, Soul' to me. I don't know if she's alright or not. Just, kick that damn door in so we can get to her."

"Got it." Black Star stepped back and lifted his leg, kicking the door in. The door remained on it's hinges and Tsubaki gasped at the sight on the other side of the door. Maka was on the floor having a seizure. Blood was spattered on the wall and sink from cuts that ran up and down her arms and shoulders. Black Star carefully approached her.

"We need to get her to the hospital immediatly!" I shouted. "Tsubaki, go flag down the ambulence!" she nodded and ran back out the door. I stood by the bathroomn door, staring at my broken meister. How could I not have noticed that this was happening? I looked away. I couldn't watch as the seizure got worse. Damn it! I'd been so busy with Liz that I hadn't even paid any attention to Maka. How long was she doing this? Was it my fault? I thought back to what she'd said a few minutes ago. She'd said she loved me. Was that why she did this? She felt unloved because I chose Liz? Did I even really love Liz? Or did I do it to hide my feelings for my meister? I sunk to the floor next to the door, actually crying. I had to fix this. I had to...

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My body started to convulse and I fell back, my limbs spazzing erradically. I was a little scared. I knew that these were a few of the side effects from ODing, but then I remembered why I'd done it. I wasn't needed anymore. Soul had Liz. I eventually lost all sense of where I was and nearly fell unconscious moments later as the door was kicked in. I couldn't see who was at the door, but I figured Soul went through with the threat and it had been Black Star who'd kicked the door in.

"We need to get her to the hospital immediatly. Tsubaki, go flag down the ambulence!" I faintly heard Soul's voice and an ambulence in the background. His voice was cracking again. I could tell he was about to cry. Heh. Good. He deserved it. Moments later, everything went black. I no longer heard the sounds of the living.


	6. White Darkness

**I'd like to thank you all for your support. My parents just came home and I think if he comes down, I'll try to tell him how I've been feeling for the past year and a half. Part of the reason is because my great grandfather passed away and my best friend died of cancer in January. It's been really tough, but I'll try to get through it~ Anyways, here's a new chapter. Enjoy 3**

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I felt like I was floating in a vast sea of darkness. I had not opened my eyes since I fell unconscious, but I was seemingly conscious now. Where was I? I slowly opened my eyes. All I saw was endless white all around me. Where the hell was I? Was I dead?

"Maka?" a voice called out to me. My eyes widened.

"Momma?" I called back, startled that I'd heard my deceased mother's voice. Sure enough, she appeared right in front of me, blond hair falling just below her shoulder blades and forest green eyes that showed emotion. Sadness.

"Maka, it's not your time yet, sweetie. You need to go back to the world of the living." she spoke softly to me.

"I'm not needed there. I don't want to go back. I took all that benadryl just so I could come here where I belong. I'll just be in everyone's way if I go back."

"There's a boy there who loves you and needs you, Maka."

"Who?" I raised an eyebrow, curious.

"Soul does. He loves you, Maka." her face fell, clearly upset with my response.

"Tch. No, he loves Liz. I'm nothing to him anymore, momma." I sighed and looked down, shifting uncomfortably on my feet.

"Go back, Maka. Tell him how you feel. I know he feels the same." she smiled at me. "You deserve to keep living."

"Mom, look, you don't under-" I felt a painful shock go through my chest. I dropped to my knees, my hand clutching my shirt. "O-Oww.."

"Let them revive you, Maka. Go back to Earth and live a full life. I'll still be there with you. Don't fight off living anymore."

"N-No. I'll keep fighting!" I struggled to get up. I had nearly stood when another shock went through my chest, this one more powerful than the last. "M-Mom..."

"Don't you dare try to kill yourself again." her voice changed. It sounded like... Soul!

"Nngh... Soul..." A final shock went through me before my mother and the endless white went away. I found myself half conscious going down the halls of a building. White walls and people zoomed past and I could hear Soul shouting somewhere in the distance. I sighed weakly, unable to move. A doctor next to me placed her hand on my cheek.

"You're going to be alright, okay? When you wake up, you'll feel much better. I promise." she smiled lightly and I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I immediatly began to feel drowzy and that's when I knew that I was going to go back to sleep again. I'd been injected with a sedative. Before my eyes closed, I saw crimson red eyes and white hair close by. My eyes focused just enough so I could tell who it was. It was Soul. He looked extremely worried and mouthed something to me. It was in that moment that I knew my mother was right. Soul loved me.

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**Hope you liked. I think I'm going to do another fanfiction. A lot of it will probably have to do with Soul's family and possibly Maka's dad. I dunno yet anyways, R&R**


	7. Forest Green

**Chapter 7. This won't go on a lot longer unless I choose to add some more to it. If you have any suggestions for my upcoming story or any stories that I am working on now, feel free to PM me~**

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I woke slightly to the sound of beeping in the room. Groaning softly, I opened my eyes and found myself in a hospital room. The heart monitor that was attached to me was beeping. Sighing, I tried to sit up. Strong hands gently pushed me back down in bed.

"Don't get up, you need to relax, Maka." a deep voice rumbled, concern hidden in his voice. "You'll be able to get up and move around again soon, but don't push it."

I looked up and found myself staring into Soul's eyes. "Soul..." I half whispered, tearing up. I still remembered what he'd mouthed to me before I passed out the last time. He'd said he loved me.

"How are you feeling? You've been in and out of consciousness for the past week now. The doctor's said you'll be alright, but Professor Stein is flying down just in case to take another look at you."

"I feel fine, I guess. Maybe a little weak, but over all, I feel okay." I looked down, playing with the thin white sheet that was covering my body. "Soul?"

"Hm?" he glanced down at me, eyes full of curiosity. "What is it?"

"That night... when I tried to kill myself... I woke up and was in the hospital and I saw you just before I let the sedative take over. You... You said you loved me. Is that true?" I looked back up at him. His eyes softened and he took my hand gently in his and gave it a ressuring squeeze.

"Of course it's true. Cool people don't lie." he smirked and leaned in, kissing my cheek. "Don't do that ever again. You had me really scared, Maka."

I sighed. "Shouldn't you be with Liz right now?"

"No. I broke up with her a couple nights ago. I didn't truely love her. It took you nearly dying for me to see that. I was just using her to hide my feelings for you." he sighed. "She took it really hard, but I don't want her to think I truely love her."

"Oh... Okay." I leaned back, no emotions running through my head. I couldn't think. I yawned a little and looked back at Soul. He was staring off into the distance, clearly not noticing that I was looking right at him.

"... Why did you do it?" he finally asked, turning to me.

"Hm?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself, Maka? It killed me to watch you suffering. I couldn't do anything to help you. You were having a seizure!"

"I'm sorry, Soul. I just... felt that I wasn't needed anymore. You were spending a lot of time with Liz and you rarely came home at night, let alone talk to me anymore."

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, looking away. "... How long?"

"... since you stopped worrying so much about me. It was right before you and Liz started going out. At first, it was just me sitting by myself in my bedroom. I laid in bed with a book or looked out the window feeling lonely. It soon grew into cutting, and eventually... I couldn't take it. I felt like you didn't need me anymore, and I chose to OD."

"I do need you, Maka. You mean a lot to me. No... you mean _everything_ to me." he sighed and half hugged me. "I'm sorry I was ignoring you..." he looked into my eyes. "I didn't even know how lonely you were."

"I'm here now... that's what matters."

"I thought... that I'd never get to see those forest green eyes of yours again..." he mumbled, gazing into my eyes. "I was afraid that the next time I saw you, you'd be in a coffin waiting to be burried. It gave me nightmares."

"I'm here..." I hugged him as best as I could with the IV still in my left arm. "I'm here... I won't do it again, okay?" tears rolled down my cheeks.

"The doctors are going to give you anti-depresasnts anyways, just to be sure." he pulled back. "They're also going to have you visit Stein weekly for a few weeks to make sure you truely do stop cutting. As you get better, you're dose of anti-depressant will go down, but don't you dare OD on it. I'm going to watch you take your medication every day, got it?"

"Yeah, I get it."

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**R&R**


	8. Blushing Pink

**Still couldn't tell him. Maybe it's best if I just tell him how I've been feeling over IM =.= Anyways, about anon, he hasn't commented in a while and I think I know why. If it is my ex, Marios, like I think it is, he won't comment until around April. I'll maybe explain later. Right now, enjoy my new chapter: Blushing Pink**

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"Alright, Maka. You're doing just fine. You're heart beat is back to normal. Just, don't do anything too strainful for a while. Take three of those pills by mouth twice a day and come see me next Tuesday. As you begin to feel better, we'll lower the amount of medication you have to take." Stein handed me a small bag with three bottles of pills in it. "If you run out of pills, I'll perscribe some more for you, okay?"

"Thank you, Professor." I took the bag and looked down. "I'm sorry I made you leave work in Death City just to come and tend to me. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."

"Now now, Maka. Don't go blaming yourself. It's fine. When Shinigami-sama heard what had happened, he sent me down immediatly. By the way, he wants you to contact him as soon as you and Soul get back to the apartment."

"Alright, I guess." I sighed.

"Is something bothering you?" Stein tilted his head slightly. "You seem bothered by something. Care to tell me what it is?"

"It's just... Soul broke up with Liz because he realized he loved me, but I can't help but feel that he maybe lying to me about it."

"I can tell you he did break up with Liz. I saw them outside the hospital a couple nights after you were brought in to be cared for."

"It's not that. It's... It's the fact I'm not sure if he truely loves me, or if he's just saying it to make me feel better. Before I OD'd on benadryl that night, I'd told him I loved him. I dunno, professor. I just feel all he wants to do is make me happy and that he doesn't really feel the same."

"That doesn't sound like Soul to me, Maka. Think about it. Would he ever fool you like that _just_ to make you happy? If he says something like that, he usually means what he says. I wouldn't let it bother you, Maka. Just relax and take it easy. Let things go the way they do. I wouldn't be surprised if you and Soul endned up together, really. Just let him think about it before confronting him, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, professor." I gave a weak smile and hopped of the examination table. I waved as I left the room and headed to the waiting room to meet up with Soul.

"Ready to go?" he asked, standing up as I approached him.

"Ready when you are." I smiled and we began walking to the hospital parking garage. "Did you actually sleep last night, Soul?"

"Somewhat. I only slept a couple hours before I gave up on sleeping. I'll take a nap when we get home, though." he smiled a little. "Oh, and while I'm at it, I changed your sheets in your room last night as well and cleaned the knife off in the kitchen and put it back in the knife brick."

"Thank you, Soul. You didn't have to do that." I smiled a little and approached his bike. He grabbed me by the arm and turned me around, kissing me on the lips lightly. I blushed a deep pink and he pulled back with a smile.

"I love you."

I smiled. "Yeah... I love you, too."

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**Nothing like a good ol' conversation with your old professor, right? And nothing like actually having the guy you like kiss you XD R&R Gunna try and update PDLMB (please don't leave me behind)**


	9. Forest Green & Crimson Red

**Still nothing. Haven't told him. Maybe after vacation when we come back... -sigh- anyways, here we are. Final chapter**

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"I swear on this knife that I will never cut again." I stared directly into Soul's eyes as I repeated his words, then added. "This shall only be for cooking purposes in this house." Soul and I both laughed as he put the knife on my nightstand.

"Nice touch, Albarn. I give an 'A' for the addition to the swearing." he hugged me gently and got up. "I'll go and start dinner. You just relax for now."

"Okay." I handed him the knife and laid back in bed, staring at the ceiling. Finanlly, I was home. I sighed and rolled onto my side, nuzzling my face into my pillow. "So, where does that leave Soul and I?" I mumbled softly.

"If you want, we can date." Soul spoke from the doorway. I jumped, blushing.

"Y-Yeah, I'd love that." I smiled. "Don't you have dinner to cook?"

"Right. Sorry." he walked to me and kissed me on the lips then left for the kitchen again, leaving me to think. Things were going to be really different now. I just hope Liz doesn't hate me for it.

"She won't..." I reassured myself as I stood and walked around my room, looking at the books on my book case and through my closet. Everything felt so different. It was like I'd changed. But, then again, I had. I didn't feel as awful as I used to. Suicide isn't the way out. I don't think it ever was. I think I was blinded by all the negative feelings I was getting, and I kept holding onto them until I finally cracked and decided that I wasn't needed. It took me nearly dying to realize that. Sometimes, there are things we don't understand. Things that we don't even bother to look into even as the curiosity grows. Then, instead of looking into it, we'll do it first and see what happens. That's when negative things happen and people die or get severely injured because they didn't know what could happen if they tried this.

As I moved around my room, I kept glancing back at the old pictures on my dresser. Each were framed with a beautiful mahogany wood frame. There were photos of Soul and I, Liz and Patty, me and Tsubaki. It made me think back to the good times we had. I began to question what ever happened to make me feel so depressed and unloved. It was fine back in Death City and then we moved here. Maybe it was the change in atmosphere. I didn't take very well to change, and when Soul hooked up with Liz it made things a lot worse because more change was happening and it made me feel left out. I thought I was the only one who hadn't changed. Not in breast size, not in height, not in my personality. But, in reality, I had changed. I'd become a dark, depressed girl who needed help. I'd locked myself away and isolated myself because I thought being alone was good, yet it always caused me to feel worse and want to hurt myself. I thought back to the night when I'd OD'd on benadryl, then back to Soul and I in the hospital. I wondered if we truely would be okay.

"Maka, dinner will be ready soon." Soul called out as he walked into my room and wrapped me into a tight hug. "I just put some fish in the oven to cook, okay."

"That's fine. Just, let me change and get my medicine."

"Will do, Maka." he smiled and let go, walking out of the room. At the door, he turned to face me. "Hey, Maka?"

"Hmm?" I looked up.

He smirked. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I smiled and watched him close the door behind him. I pulled out a night shirt and a pair of shorts and changed, going back to thinking about Soul and I. We'd been best friends for a long time, and I knew that one day something like this would happen. The thing I worried most about was losing him at some point and ruining our friendship. It was possible, wasn't it? I took out one of the bottles of anti-depressant Stein gave me and stared at it. No way in hell was I going to abuse this drug. I needed help, and I was getting it thanks to Soul. He was always there for me even though I may not have seen it. I smiled lightly. A real, genuine, smile. The first of it's kind in five whole years. But, would Soul and I really be okay?

"Hey, bookworm, time to eat! Don't make me drag you out of there, love!" Soul called out to me from the kitchen, laughter evident in his voice.

I smiled and mumbled under my breath.

"Yeah, we were going to be just fine."

* * *

**~End~**

**I may end up writing another... well... kinda depressing one depending on how I hold up over the next couple of weeks. Hopefully, if I get that keyboard for my birthday, I'll be able to play to my heart's content and cheer up~  
**


	10. Epilogue

**I debated on doing and epilogue and thought "Why the hell not?" so, here it is. Enjoy~**

* * *

"Hold still, Maka. I need to zip up the back of your dress." Tsubaki laughed softly and zipped up my dress. "All we need now is the veil. You look great!"

"Thanks, Tsubaki." I giggled and looked at myself in the body mirror that was in front of me. "I knew I made the right choice with the dress. It looks great."

"I think Soul will say the same." the raven haired girl hugged me tightly. "I'm so happy for you, Maka." she smiled lightly. "I'm sure your parents are, too."

"I'm just glad that we could have the wedding here in DeathCity." I fixed my hair before glancing back at Tsubaki. "So, how are you and Black Star doing?"

"We're doing just fine. He's been less of a loudmouth ever since he and I started going out, and I know he's really happy for you and Soul."

"Well, of course he is. He's like a brother to me and very over protective." I laughed. "If anyone tries to hurt me, he always goes after the person who attempted to do so and beats the crap out of them."

"Maka, Tsubaki, everyone's ready to begin." my dad poked his head around the corner and smiled. "Liz and Patty are about to walk down the aisle. You should follow, Tsubaki. I'll take care of my daughter."

"Thank you." Tsubaki turned to me and gave me a thumbs up. "We'll be waiting at the alter, Maka."

"See you there." I smiled as my dad walked over and hugged me tightly.

"You've grown up so fast, Maka. I think I'm going to have issues letting you go when you and Soul leave later to go on your honeymoon. And I know you're mother is proud of you."

"I know, and you'd better not stop me." I kissed his cheek. "Let's not keep everyone waiting out there." I took his hand and we walked out from the back room. The bride's music played as we walked down the aisle. I saw a few of our friends from school. Teachers and students from the academy had shown up and filled up almost every seat. Dad handed me off to Soul and stepped back.

"You look beautiful…" Soul mumbled, squeezing my hand lightly. He smiled a little and listened to the priest silently, never taking his gaze off me. I mouthed a thank you and listened as well. We both said our vows and, when the priest said Soul could kiss me, he wrapped both arms around me and did so.

"I love you, Soul." I kissed his cheek lightly and hugged him tightly before walking back down the aisle with him, my hand in his. The limo that my father had gotten for us was waiting at the front of the church. We got in the car and the driver drove us to the academy where the reception was going to be.

"Is it fair to say I still feel like everything that happened to me is a dream?" I asked softly. "Because I find it hard to believe that I actually was depressed and now I'm married to the guy I've loved for almost ten years."

"It's not a dream, though." Soul wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, my head resting against his chest. "I'd be lying if I said it was a dream."

"I know." I remained leaning against my new husband and sighed contently. "I still owe you my life for saving me…"

"You owe me nothing, Maka. I saved you because I care a lot about you. That's final. Let's just be happy we're here today, okay?"

"Okay." I kissed him softly, taking his hand gently. "We should have a family… what do you think?"

"I want a boy before the girl, so if someone picks on my little girl, my son will kick the shit out of them." Soul laughed softly and leaned back in his seat. When the limo stopped in front of the school, Soul got out before I could say anything more.

"We're late… as always." I shook my head and got out. We both walked up the stairs to the school and walked in. Everyone was waiting for us. They were either drinking alcohol or dancing, and when we walked in, everyone's gaze fell on us. We were both ushered to chairs at the front of the room and Liz stood nearby, grinning.

"Soul, it's time you take off the garter." she said ever so innocently.

"Sure." Soul knelt down in front of me and was about to put his hands under my dress when Liz stopped him.

"Not with your hands. With your teeth." she smirked and stood back. Both Soul's face and my own turned a generous shade of red.

"A-Alright then." Soul turned to me again and dipped his head under my dress. He inched his way up to the garter, planted a kiss on my thigh, and pulled it off with his teeth, a triumphant grin on his face as he stood up.

"There, Liz, are you happy now?" I asked, crossing my arms, a little amused as Soul flung the garter out into the sea of people.

"Very." she answered simply and grabbed me by the arm as the music started so she could talk to me. "So, what's it like being with Soul? Have you two slept together yet?"

"Liz!" I blushed. "I-I mean… y-yes. The night he proposed and once or twice after that, but why do you ask?"

"Well," she began, poking my stomach. "It might just be me, but I think you've gotten bigger since then."

"Liz…" I sighed and whispered in her ear. Her eyes got wide and I looked down. "Shush. He doesn't know, yet."

"Tell him when you two dance. How long has it been?" she asked as Kid walked over.

"I think it's been two months." I answered uncertainly, rubbing the back of my head. "I'll tell him tonight. I promise."

"Does he know about the other thing?" she asked vaguely, noting Kid's confused look. "Did you tell him about that at least?"

"No. I should, though. Maybe I should do a good news bad news thing." I sighed. "Do you think he'll leave me?"

"Of course he won't! He loves you too much to even think about leaving you." she gave me a reassuring smile. "I want to tell you something, but don't tell Soul I told you. All he could talk about when I was dating him was you. He was worried sick."

"He was?" I asked, astonished. I turned and looked at Soul, who was chatting with Patty. "I-I didn't know."

"Look, don't think he doesn't care, because he does no matter what stupid things he does. Hold onto him until the very end."

"The very end probably won't be too much longer." I sighed and walked over to Soul. "Want to dance?"

"Sure." Soul took my hand and led me onto the dance floor. He placed one hand on my waist and the other tangled with my hand. We swayed for a while. I decided what to do.

"So, Soul," I began, "I have good news and bad news." I sighed softly and looked up at him.

"What is it, Maka?" he looked down at me, his hand gripping my waist tighter. "Is something wrong?"

"The good news is… I 'm pregnant." I admitted with a soft smile. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm getting bigger here."

"That's wonderful, Maka!" he hugged me tightly, both arms snaking around my waist. He kissed my cheek lightly.

"There's bad news, too." I said shakily.

"What's wrong?" he pulled back, fear in his eyes.

"Soul, I don't know how to say this…" I avoided his gaze. It would kill me to tell him what I was going through at that time.

"Maka, you can tell me anything. We can get through it, but you need to tell me what's bothering you."

I took a deep breath. "Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctor's aren't sure what they can do for me, but they don't think I'll be around any longer than the next five to seven years."

* * *

**A/N: Now, listen closely. I know this is a cliffhanger, so I need to hold a vote. Let me know who is interested in letting me make a sequel to this. If enough people want me to continue with this plot line, I'll have it take place about six years later when their kid(s) turn six years of age (I dunno about twins yet or if she'll get pregnant again over time or if they'll have one kid). Let me know in reviews and I'll decide :)**


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